Alex's Amazing Movie Reviews: The Secret Of Kells

Well, isn't this nice. It's my first blog post.
Me and one of my best friends, Yin, will be posting things here regularly (...by that I mean 3 times a week, roughly).

Well, let's see here.

What shall I begin with?

Oh, I know, how about that movie that not many people know about? You know, that one movie by that one Irish animation company by that one animation director?

You don't... know do you. Well, no worries, I'll fill you in.

The most iconic picture from Cartoon Saloon's almost masterpiece of a film.

Cartoon Saloon is the animation studio behind the 2009 Irish animated feature "The Secret of Kells", directed by Tomm Moore.  First of all, these guys DEFINITELY know what they are doing artistically. Want proof? Well, here it is:

Why, is that a... hand drawn background for once? I think I'm in love!
The characters pictured here are Brendan and Aisling. Hopefully you know who's who.

Just take a look at that stunning art. This is where the movie excels. The characters are not as bland or uninteresting as you may think. For instance, Aisling, the protector of the forest just outside of Kells, can be described as the protective, yet annoying 'little sister' of Brendan, the main male lead of this picture.

But that's not all.

Let's get to the point, yes?

The film begins with the... credits? Yes, the credits, however, we are accompanied with some quite beautiful music. Did I mention that the same guy who did the music for Henry Selick's "Coraline" did the music for THIS film?

Admitted, the background looks great. Music adds to the atmosphere too.

We get some whispered monologuing in the beginning after the opening credits, with... a truly difficult to describe voice. Like someone whispered into your ear the horrors and beauties of the world, like you were entering it for the first time. And guess who's narrating?

None other than Aisling (voiced by Christen Mooney) herself!

Wow, a little GIRL does her voice? Damn. I need to take acting classes...

Again, we get extraordinary visuals to accompany her monologue. Splendid indeed.

Her monologue cuts with the title card.

The logo is quite good. Typical Irish script. Or at least I THINK it is.

We cut to the village of Kells (which looks stunning by the way), when we are introduced to Brendan, the protaganist of the film, who is chasing a goose through the village, being encouraged by the other Brothers (or Illuminators of the village), that is until one does a stunning prat fall into a mud pit. Brendan, however, continues the chase, and ends up at the wall that his Uncle, the Abbot, is commissioned to be made to protect Kells from the Vikings attacks.

I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling Illuminators! (I'm sorry, that joke sucked.)

Wait... is one of the Illuminators... JAMAICAN? ...How does that work...?

O_o...

Whatever. It doesn't matter, I guess.

Brendan climbs the unfinished wall to chase the goose, when he crashes through some loose boards, which ultimately leads to the discovery of the forest outside the walls. He is intrigued, but he knows not to go there.

Who WOULDN'T want to go there?

He returns to the other Illuminators, and continues his chase with the goose. It succeeds, with the audience understanding the purpose. Its feathers. Used as writing materials. All right, we get our beginning.

However, all is not well when the man in scarlet, the Abbot, comes to them, and god DAMN is he a snooty asshole!

Just look at him. Just plotting.

Well, the whole idea is that this guy wants to build a wall to keep the Vikings out, and the Illuminators think he is absolutely obsessed, but Brendan comes to his defense, saying it's for a good purpose.

Now let me go on record to say that the voice acting could have been better. It's not as fantastic as well, Aisling's voice is. Then again, I pictured a slightly lower voice for her... Oh well. Moore's choice.

Continuing with the movie...

Brendan returns with the Illuminators to the place where the books are made. It is pretty obvious he studies from them. They tell him about the best Illuminator of them all, Brother Aidan of Iona.

OVERDRAMATIZATION!

And what a coincidence! HE SHOWS UP IN KELLS TO STAY! ...Wait. What?
No guys. That's... a bit much. I don't think so. That's too fast. No NO NO!
Well, okay. I guess it HAS to be quick. Right? It can't be like fucking Inception can it?

Well, he has a cat. His name is Pangur Ban. Like that poem. Wow, total irony.

Dude. Snooty cat, 10 o'clock.

How cute, he hates Brendan at first, and of course, Brendan gets the job from Aidan to feed him, and of course PANGUR deserves BETTER. He runs away, and Brendan ends up eavesdropping on Aidan and Abbot's conversation about the wall around Kells. That doesn't go too well.

Haters gonna hate, huh Abbot?

The Vikings are clearly going to destroy the wall, according to Aidan, but of course the ABBOT doesn't LISTEN!

Moving on...

Probably the bit I really wanna talk about it Brendan's meeting with Aisling, which is by far the best part in the film.

After discovering the Book Of Iona, Brother Aidan gives Brendan a task: find these little green berries that can make ink. Of course, that means Brendan must leave the walls of Kells, and go into the forest which intrigued him earlier. He ponders about this, but eventually decides he'll do it. And he brings along Pangur Ban, who has grown fond of Brendan... for some reason. I mean it's not explained, he just DOES.

So, Brendan ventures into the magical forest the next day, and quickly discovers he is being watched, but by what? Well, it's just two green eyes at first, but WHO DO THEY BELONG TO? THE MYSTERY!!!

Well, that gets answered withen the next few minutes, that is, when Brendan stumbles into a misty clearing, with weird...black wolves out to get him. Oh no, is he going to die? Psh, of course not, 'cause he's saved by a white wolf, who says the following line:

Is this your cat?

That should be the tagline of the movie. With this picture. Seriously.

Anyway, Brendan is clearly freaked out. He falls to the ground and they get into a conversation, with Aisling asking what he's doing in her forest. Did he come to get food for his family? Which Brendan answers with, No, that he has no family. Aisling stops in her tracks, clearly shocked by this, realizing that they have a similarity with one another. THEY ARE BOTH ALONE.

That leads to her sympathizing with him, and allowing him to come through her forest.

No, you can't know my name yet.

Naturally, this is the high point of the movie, besides the climax. Aisling is just so cute.

But the climax is just...fucking WEIRD.

The Vikings are these huge beast like things, but then again they WERE like that, just complete animals. So I have no complaints, besides they do something bad to Kells. I won't say, though, watch it for yourself.

Well, I won't continue my summary, mainly 'cause this is taking too long. Just see the damn thing, trust me, it's very worth it.

Despite some flops with voice acting, and an okay and rushed story, it is visually pleasing to the eye, as it was the characters were animated in Flash, and the backgrounds done traditionally (with watercolor, probably).

Definately give this baby a try, it deserves it, especially because it was ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED! But it didn't win. Pixar's "Up" did. I guess that deserved it though.

See, Kells could've won, if only they had polished the story just a BIT more. God, they were so close, so very close.

Well, that's that for now.

Thank you all for wasting your time with my post!

Come back for more.

So long all,
Alex K.